(no subject)

[grindmonkeh]

I got an e-mail from a Minnesotan stalker this evening. I'm frightened. She says she is going to show up at the Indianapolis Airport next Thursday and if I don't pick her up I'm dead. I'm afraid to tell anyone, and she said if I get the authorities involved I'll be really sorry. I mean at first I was flattered...but then she began talking in a creepy Homer Simpson voice that really makes my skin crawl. My life is in perpetual turmoil.

This is the e-mail she sent me:
-------------------
You make me smile.

It hasn't been a full day unless I've talked to you in one
form or another.

I'm incredibly lucky to have you.

I can't wait to be wrapped up in your arms.

I'm tired of not being beside you.

Someday, we'll be together.*
-------------------

I guess I'll just do as she wishes and hope that I'm not in TOO much trouble. 8)

Comments

[ex-oki86.livejournal.com]

Who are you trying to kid, buster?!?! ;)

Your Stalker

[quickening.livejournal.com]

I think I recognize your stalker's style of writing. If it is her...you better run...to the airport. She belongs to some freaky organization known as the Sith Chick Coalition...go figure. She established contact with me about a year ago. She's always talking about bondage stuff and all. I don't know. I think that kinda stuff is just sick. You better be careful man!!! She also brags about being some kind of a Kama Sutra master...some type of weapon to overcome the men she is stalking. She contacted me to ask me if I knew of any hot single men. Thankfully, I said "no" and undoubtedly protected numerous men from a horrible fate.

Anyways, I suggest you just go along with her wishes and hope she doesn't make like a black widow spider and devour you. You might want to purchase a leather whip...could be used to fend off her hungry gyrating mandibles.

Important: she will probably deny ALL of this information. She will even probably accuse me of being a member of this violent and sexually frustrated Sith Chick Coalition. Let me assure you, I do not partake in such "activity".

::rereads post::

heh...I think my job here is done.