and so it goes....

[grindmonkeh]

I have descended into my typical routine again. I anticipated this on my way home from my trip...time alone...the monotony of this city...lack of interaction. I have a plethora of friends, almost more than I can manage while working these forlorn hours. I bide my time waiting for the weekends when I can select the few friends I'll have time to visit. I can't see them all and it makes me feel guilty. I wonder how long friendships will sustain under these conditions.

I should call my friend Brad today, he knows me like a brother. I should call my brother too, he might drive up to see me and lighten my mood a bit.

I know I pick myself apart too often, it is yet another product of isolation. I can't seem to instill any direction into my life...where do I want to be in five years?...not a whim. And so it goes. I need other people around to bring out my optimism. I'm only like this when I'm alone and I can't stand myself because of it...I'm going to make a lot of phone calls this week.

Comments

Hmmm....

[jennylee.livejournal.com]

It seems to be an epidemic with 23 year olds... the ones who have goals are solid with them, and they're striving towards them, and they know exactly what they want.

I've never known what I wanted. The only thing I know that I want for certain is to just be happy... so I guess that's what I'm trying for. That doesn't apply itself well to real life though, like jobs, when you have no idea what job would make you happy. And doing nothing isn't the answer, because when I do nothing I get bored, and when I get bored I get depressed. So I have to do something. I still don't know what. What makes me happy? Writing something that people connect with... singing for people and having them hear my voice... seeing someone smile and knowing that I had a part in that...

And what do I do with my days? Make mp3's...

Sorry... rambling.

making phone calls...

[samuraipunch.livejournal.com]

Hehe well you arent the one that has to use a dial-up connection now are you?! sigh i love my current join message for IRC..."Dialups suck!! Dont bitch to me, unless you're on one too!!"

Just feel special that you dont have to make these type of phone calls...