(no subject)

[grindmonkeh]

From the LJ of someone whose name I won't mention: "You ever get caught jerking off by your wife? Really, its just embarassing."

My sister arrived home (unexpectedly) to find my brother-in-law sitting naked in front of the computer surfing porn sites with one hand and well..doing OTHER stuff with his OTHER hand. When she walked through the door and saw him he sprinted into the bathroom and caught his foot on the doorjamb...almost ripping his little toe off. He had to get dressed and go to the hospital to get stitches. Up until that point she had no idea that he masturbated or looked at porn.

He's a great guy though. On another occasion he bought her a card for Valentine's day with a dozen roses. The card read something to the effect of "Baby you're like smooth hot chocolate...etc. etc. etc....you're my ebony love." He had somehow missed key words like "chocolate" and "ebony" and unwittingly bought her a romantic ethnic card of the African-American variety. By the way...we're white.

Comments

[jennylee.livejournal.com]

How can one have no idea a guy masturbates? From what I understand, guys do it whether they're in a relationship and getting some or not.

[brokn2pieces.livejournal.com]

That is good stuff!

[daruba.livejournal.com]

ahahahahaah great story!!!

[grindbastard.livejournal.com]

I think one of the reasons she told me the story was so that she could follow-up with questions about the normalcy of a guy self-gratifying while in a relationship. I guess it would be easy to just assume that your significant other doesn't until something leads you to believe the contrary.

[redalice.livejournal.com]

This post made me laugh my ass off.My husband bought me an african american romantic card once as a joke. I thought it was awesome. Nothings wrong with masturbating- he should not have run. He has nothing to be ashamed of. Every wife should instinctively know their husband does it. I know I do.