(no subject)

I bought a new toothbrush yesterday while grocery shopping, and included were detailed illustrated instructions on how to use it. There are some things, such as brushing your teeth, that you should be able to assume how to do initially and be able to logically correct if done wrong. Incorrect, Sir. There is a refined technique to prescribe to while scrubbing those molars and incisors, and in all my flailing about I'm surprised that I've never had a cavity. Honestly, I was almost instantly reminded of this...for you see...

I worked at a grocery store for several years while in high school and my first two years of college, and one night while I was replenishing the shelf of the town's demand for a fine enema I happened to look at the back of the box. There is a complete step by step illustrated picture of someone performing a self-administered colon-blow, iterating the completely obvious in a narrated comic-book panel depiction on (again) the back of the box. How is that for making an already embarrassing purchase completely fucking preposterous? You might think that without an illustrated picture, someone would still be able to put the gar in the funkle. Then again, they were in the immediate vicinity of the toothbrushes.

I think I'm going to write a letter to Charmin, propose the need for illustrated directions, and then apply for a job on the project.

Woahly shit...what if I were going about that ALL WRONG???

I'm just glad that I don't have this job...